Speaker 0 00:04 Hi and welcome to that makes total sense. The podcast where we talk about faith, finance and everyday life in a way that makes total sense. I'm your host Alexis BU city. On this podcast you'll hear the personal stories of friends I'll be interviewing who are doing familiar things in new and innovative ways. We'll answer questions specifically about money and our relationship with it and we'll explore faith and Bible teaching together. In all of these. It's not about changing our convictions as much as it is about messing with our methods. We'll have a lot of moments here together where we pause and say that makes total sense.
Speaker 0 00:44 Hi, I'm Alexis B SETI and welcome to that makes total sense. Today's episode is a nother one of our money conversations. So we are going to talk about money and singleness in this episode with my friend Tiffany Tiffany and I met through our mutual friend Michelle McKinney who I interviewed in episodes three and four by the way, so you can go back and listen. Um, but I have been a coach for Tiffany. I have been a friend for Tiffany and I just want to tell you she is crushing it and so I had asked her to come on in originally. I just thought, okay, this will be another coaching session style episode. She'll ask me some questions. I'll answer. It will be great for our audience. Well, let me just tell you that this really turned into Tiffany doing the coaching. Okay. I have not been single for 16 years and so yes, a lot of my clients are single women.
Speaker 0 01:41 I love to help single women and talk with them about their money, their relationship with money and finances. But I can tell you it ended up me being the one asking the questions of Tiffany about money and being single and howling and how to deal with that. So you're going to love it if you are married or in a relationship though. Don't skip out on this one. It's so good. They're just some really good tips and gems in this episode for having a healthy relationship with money and I really think you're going to enjoy it. So here's my conversation with Tiffany. All right everybody, thank you so much for joining us today on the, that makes total sense. Podcast. I am your host Alexis B steady and today we are going to have a money chat. We're going to have a money conversation with my friend and my client Tiffany. Hey Tiffany.
Speaker 0 02:32 Hi Alexis, how are you? Oh, I'm great. Thank you so much for coming on and joining us today. No problem. Thank you so much for the great opportunity. I'm excited. Yay. I'm excited too. So Tiffany lives in Maryland and since I do almost all of my coaching virtually, um, Tiffany, Tiffany and I have seen each other quite a bit. And this is what I want you to know about Tiffany. She's crushing it. She crushing it. She is in her finances and in her her goals and in her career. She's just doing an amazing job. Tiffany is in her thirties, early thirties and she is a business owner. She is actually a speech pathologist, which just blows my mind. She's so good at what she does and she is single. So I am not telling you this so that everybody, all you guys don't try and get Tiffany's number.
Speaker 0 03:23 Okay. I'm telling you to do this because Tiffany and I are going to talk today about money and being single and so some of the benefits, some of the challenges and we just want to let you guys in on our conversation so that hopefully if you're in the same situation as Tiffany, you can benefit and maybe get some tips on, um, what it's like to improve your relationship with money when you're single. So Tiffany, let us have it. Tell us a little bit about, I told everyone a little bit, but tell us a little bit about your, you know, your, where you are right now, and then maybe let's go into what it's like, like what are you struggling with, what are your challenges? What do you love about being single? But then how does it, does that affect your relationship with money?
Speaker 1 04:10 Okay. Um, I guess I'll back up a little bit to when things really changed for me in 2016. Um, and I left my full time job in the school system. After that school year was over. Um, I met someone in private practice who became my mentor and decided this is the jump. I'm going to take this leap of faith and really do that. Um, at the same time I was under contract for a house. So even my dad,
Speaker 0 04:36 like you, you're young now, but you were young then this jump into private practice and buying a house and all of that stuff. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 04:44 I was getting ready to approach 30, and I'm leaving my job and I've been in the school system almost seven years at that point. And I'm in rebar house too, but God told me to do it. He didn't close any doors and so I stepped into it. It was very risky, I think knowing that, you know, you're doing this thing solo. Um, but I knew that God had called me to it. So I kept moving forward. So, um, now we're three years, I guess past that and I've been owned in a business full time for three years and my house three years. And God is making things move and he's still moving. And I'm so ever grateful. It's a very humbling experience and a testimony directly because I came through a divorce before that. So I always say, God gave me huge beauty and he gave me so much beauty for my shoot and amazing.
Speaker 1 05:31 I love that. I love that. Um, yeah, it's a good journey as far as being single and feeling empowered and, and knowing that, you know, when things happen well is like a God moment, right? Our prayer partner says, I got formation, so that's awesome. I love that. Yes. So that's great. Um, but at times it can feel a little lonely when you're like stepping in and putting that foot out there because you make a mistake. You feel like, okay, it's me, it's my fault if it doesn't work type thing. Um, so it can feel lonely at times. Um, sometimes you feel like you're juggling a lot with home finances and a business perspective as well. So it's just the juggle gets to be stressful at times.
Speaker 0 06:18 Right. Right. And I, and thank you so much for sharing all of that because you really, you really are. You're just doing so great. You're on the path. I mean, I'm seeing, you know, new, um, for over a year now, just just walking this way. You're doing a great job, but I'm so thankful that you shared that it can feel lonely sometimes. Like, you know, those W's you get to share with God, but when you have like a little slip up, you know, it's, it's kind of like when you have a w it's all you and then when you have a slip up, it's all you too. And so that, I get how that can feel a little bit lonely. But I know you said you had a prayer partner. What do you do in those moments when you're like having those feelings of like a little bit deflated when you, when you kind of have hit a bump
Speaker 1 07:09 or, um, when I feel the stress building up or it feels pretty overwhelming. Um, I really tried to, um, use it as a humbling experience. Even if it's a, you know, fall or whatever happens to go to God and, you know, try to pray more and really just stop and say, Hey God, your will be done. Not my will but yours. Even though it's something I have to work through. Even if it's a financial struggle, like what is it in this that I need to learn? Why am I going through this? Um, and it's a humbling experience because you have to reach out for people to pray for you. Right. People that you trust. Like, cause my prayer partner lives in Atlanta. She's amazing. Um, we've known each other for over 12 years now. Um, I'll call her a text her, Hey girl, I really am in the trenches like these, you know, get it on your face for me.
Speaker 1 07:58 Um, I have an amazing, amazing mother who's such a woman of faith. I call her, let's go, let's get it right now. Let her know that I'm in a space and I don't want to stay there long. Um, my pastor, my home church always said, you have 24 hours to kind of soak in your mess. You give it to God, you got to move on that 24 hours to kind of get it together. Either cry it out or, or you know, bust with myself, whatever the case may be. And then try to get mad and at right Headspace so I can move forward and get out of my, what was me, I'm single, I gotta deal with it all by myself type thing. Cause you get like that, that's just honest. But really trying to take that 24 hours to get myself together and kinda shake the dust off and move forward and kinda look at, um, looking at it as a blessing. You know, look at what you're going through is a blessing. Said don't look at it so much as what's going wrong, but take the blessing in it.
Speaker 0 08:59 Right, right. No, that's, no, that's good. My husband said something the other night that I thought it was so good. Like I'm even talking about transitioning, you know, like when you, when you said 24 hours to soak in my mess. Um, I thought that was really funny. But he said, you know, emotional. And he said, it's part of it is about emotional investment. Like you can emotionally invest for a certain time in the past and processing the past and what has happened in the past. But at some point when you're going to move forward, you have to emotionally invest in what's coming next. And instead of emotionally investing in the processing and the muck, which is good and healthy for a time to do, but then we have to emotionally invest, invest and moving forward and what's coming forward. So that's so good. But girl, I know you don't mess up every day.
Speaker 0 09:46 So tell me about some something that you find like everyday life. Um, because you, because you were married, you were in a relationship before and then now you're single and so you have a little bit of a perspective of um, you know, kind of how the other half lives and you can see like what it was like then compared to what it was like now. So just in your daily, like what are some of the challenges that you find that are different because you're single now compared to somebody who might be married when they're dealing with money?
Speaker 2 10:18 Mmm.
Speaker 1 10:19 I think one of the challenges is that, you know, you're trying to um,
Speaker 1 10:26 Oh, a granny used to say about them, sad the muster. See you're really trying to, you have a little and you're trying to spread it, you know, all these things work. So you're looking at your account and whereas you know, you know, you have two incomes coming in to that account, you're looking at it from a perspective of this is all we got and I have to get everything done household wise, be wise about that. And we've talked about that in our individual coaching session. What can I do to get rid of these bills? What can I do to say, what can I do to be frugal but still, you know, enjoy life and travel and do the things that I love to do. Um, so how can I spread the little bit and see God make a whole lot out of it. Pay for a full lease at an office and a full mortgage and you know, I still give and tad and support family members when it's needed and those types of things.
Speaker 1 11:16 So it's just like how to do a whole lot with the little bit that some of the stress of it, knowing that it's, you know, one income coming in or can, um, I know one of the business groups I'm in online on Facebook, we talk about like how people who are doing well and successful financially have multiple streams of income and they always have a side hustle. So I've worked those in, so I'm always looking on ways to do that. And currently I'm contracted with another business owner, um, that I know in speech path and do some home health stuff for her on the side. Um, I'm also tutoring on this asset, so trying to other streams in there that help with what we call guest, the extras or the excess, the things that don't need to be done, but things that like make my life better. Like, I really am able to shut down and get myself together when I can travel a little bit. So those extra funds go to things like that.
Speaker 0 12:10 Right. Because, because what I hear you saying, part of what I hear you saying is it's like the recognition that just because you have one income doesn't necessarily mean that it's like cheaper to run your household. Right. So it's like, you know, you still have, you still have rent or mortgage and food and bills and you know, all of that stuff, whether if two people were living in your house or just one person living in your house, but you have one income. And so, yeah. And so that is, that is challenging on how to, how to deal with it. You know, I've had more single women as clients than I like ever dreamed that I would. Um, partially because I never dreamed. I love it. I love, love, love working with, um, nice single woman I'm working with because the truth is the vast majority of them are just, they're like you and they're killing it.
Speaker 0 13:00 And so the stuff that I'm able to do for them is just kinda like pushed them a little bit further and help them do a little bit more because they're already just in such great shape. But part of the reason I thought, I don't know that I'm going to have that is because I feel like I've been married since I was 12 I was 21 but, um, but you know, one of the things I like to share with my, my single clients that I have is, is there is that side of it that it's like you just have the one, but at the same time, you know, to look at it in the positive spin and say, you don't have to worry about anybody else's opinion really. When it comes to a, how you spend money. B, what kind of side hustle are you doing?
Speaker 0 13:41 See, you know, what are your values and what does your timing look like? You know, um, you can, you can do some of those things in the evenings or the weekends or some of that and not have to concern yourself with who's at home or who wants me home for dinner or something like that. You have that flexibility that people don't have when they're married. But also when you're talking about, you know, like wanting to do those extras, wanting to do the travel, well, you get to decide what the extra is. You get to this and you get to decide how much extra hustle you want to spend for the extra fun, you know? And then like your fun might be if you're, if you're for people who are in a married situation, your fun might be travel and his fund might be, you know, video games by, uh, you know, you know, technology or something like that.
Speaker 0 14:28 And you're like, wait a minute, I don't want to split this. You know? And so I think that's kind of a cool thing about being single is that you get to choose and you get to determine what those values are for, for you. Um, but let's talk a little bit about like accountability. I know that's like a, that's like a word that nobody to use, but it's like at the same time when you, when you have, there's nobody there to say I need you home in a certain time. It's one thing I'll often say is there's also nobody there. When you come home and you have your arms full of target bags, like unless you have a roommate, right? You know, if I come home and I have a, an arm full of target bags, I have five people in my house going, which get, what'd you get?
Speaker 0 15:17 What'd you get? And I have to say what I, sometimes the answer is none of your business. I have to say what I got and I have to put in the budget, but in the app and I have, you know, my husband's going to see, you know, and all of this stuff, like we have all of that. And so sometimes that's a great joy about being single is when you walk in with an armful of target bags, nobody is asking you what you got. But at the same time when you walk in, nobody's asking you what you got. And so how besides a budget app or something like that, what do you feel is a good way for singles to like keep accountable to, to their money. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 15:57 Yes. No and I wrestled with that sometimes. I'm like you said, I think the autonomy of it is great because I've seen both sides of it. I've been a part of both. And just not having to explain something all the time is great. Um, and knowing that, you know, all right, guy said I can do it. All right, I'll just go forward with it and I don't have to consult anybody else. So that's like the nice part of it. Um, that part can get challenging cause sometimes you do want to splurge at dance and you don't really have anybody to answer to. But um, sometimes it just comes down to that self-talk piece. And I think between being self employed and owning them out, I've gotten into more of that self talk and it's okay. Um,
Speaker 0 16:41 tell us what you mean by that because that phrase and, but I, I just kinda want us all to be on the same page. Yeah. So that doesn't mean seem like you're crazy and talking to yourself. Oh no, I did see a meme the other day that said, um, I'm a, I'm a self employed business owner and when you see me talking to myself, I'm having a business meeting. I love, I noticed I do more of it since I've been self-employed kind
Speaker 1 17:08 of inner dialogue with yourself. Um, that dialogue with yourself, with your conscious conscience, with God there and just kind of say, Hey, is this something I need to do? And I'm my counselor, you've coined this term and I love it. And with fresh and I'm going through something really tough. She says, um, instead of worrying about what everybody else is, think about does this serve you well? Does this well as far as what God has you to do? Like, so kinda like the WWJD thing to think about, does this serve me well? Like right. I already ate out a couple of times this month. And um, you know, would it serve me well to go ahead to Ruth Chris when that's really not something I need to do is not a celebration I have to be at like, so when do I kinda just pump the brakes a little bit and say this isn't going to serve my finances as well because I've already, you know, spent too much this month or I overdid it on groceries this month or I had some unexpected medical bills that came up this month. So how do I kinda cut back a little bit? Um, how do I coupon more? How do I decide that, you know, I'm only gonna only shop at all do this week or whatever. Like let's get real.
Speaker 0 18:21 Do they just been only like a mile from my house? I'm so pumped.
Speaker 1 18:25 All of these graphs, um,
Speaker 0 18:29 free stuff, by the way.
Speaker 1 18:30 Yes. Yes, yes. Same here. Right? So I'm just like that, that self-talk piece. And like I said, sometimes I have a good girlfriend or prayer partner, somebody that I really trust. And my mom, of course was always in my back pocket, but that can kind of talk me through that if I need it or be real with me and pull me up and say, Hey, you're going on that cruise next month, do you need to watch it? Or you know, if I were you, you know, they're not going to really like tell me what to do, but that I can receive that from them. So receiving that information from someone you really trust, I'm having those self-talk moments and pray. Right. And I think when you start to pray about those things, God will like kinda put those roadblocks right in front of you and show you like, that's enough. You know, I had it, I didn't expect to buy four tires in a month, so,
Speaker 0 19:19 right, right. And um, and I love that there's the self-talk piece. There's the prayer piece, but when it's relational, this horizontal relational piece, then it's like you have people who know and who you have given permission to speak into your life in that way. Because I, I feel like, I don't know if you feel this way, but I feel like it doesn't matter if you're married or single or if you're pregnant or if you have kids. There's something about, it's like there are just some people in our lives or, or there are some situations where it's like everybody has an opinion on it. You know, like you can be standing in the grocery line and somebody has an opinion on what you're buying or what you're, or what you're doing or what your situation is. But the point is not to listen to all of those people.
Speaker 0 20:02 It's like the people that you've given permission to speak into your life and this is like, Oh yeah, that's really, this is really funny to me because I'm realizing, I'm like, okay, so guys, Tiffany and I talked about this right before we came on and we're like, okay, let's just, let's just see how the conversation flows. Let's do this. And I'm sitting here going, Tiffany, I feel the tables turning right now. And I feel like instead of doing like a true coaching session, I really am feeling more of like, because I know your situation, I'm feeling like tell us what, how you're pulling off doing as well as you're doing as a single woman business owner and all of that. And so I'm feeling a little bit like I'm just turning the tables you and being like, okay to, we're just going to sit at your feet and you're going to tell us how you're Christian.
Speaker 0 20:54 You are still learning, which is so great. But I think that's the, that's the key is that, you know, you're still learning, but you're doing so many things really well along the way. And so now I'm just kinda feeling like instead of me doing the talking, like let's just let you do the talking and tell us about some of the things, because these questions keep coming to my mind. And I'm like, I know what I, what I share with my single clients and how I try to encourage them in some of these ways, which, which I can share. But I'd also like to hear from you. Um, so when you said Ruth's Chris, I thought, okay, let's talk about it because, so back up toG is like 2001 or something like that. Don't tell me how old you were then. But like, let's back.
Speaker 0 21:37 Let's back up. But um, so my husband was, we were not married yet and he was interning in Houston when we were still living in Oklahoma and he came down and he was making really good money as an intern for one of the energy companies down here. And he was a single guy. And so he started going to church and he got in connection with like these young, this like kind of young single professionals group at this church over the summer. And he started seeing his money disappear. And I'm like, I feel like I can give you one guess. But it was entertainment. It was everybody wants to go out to eat after service or everybody's going to a movie on Tuesday night or everybody's doing this, everybody's doing that. And it's like he was single. And so hanging out with his friends was the entertainment and the group of friends that he was hanging out with were all young professionals who were making pretty good money.
Speaker 0 22:36 And so he's realizing, Oh dear, I'm making pretty good money and it's all like disappearing. I'm eating it all basically or whatever. And so, I mean I can share maybe after you do some things that I've shared with some of my singles to help combat that. But is that, is that a challenge that you see sometimes is like, because you know when it's like that is your, that's when you hang out with people, that's your hangout time. It's not always just like, you know, popcorn and Netflix. Like it's like does it feel like maybe in your community that people are always doing something and going somewhere in it always cost money? Like how do you, if that's true, tell us. And then how do you deal with that?
Speaker 1 23:16 Yes, I think it's very true. Um, I think that I've noticed it a lot more sense themselves employee than I did. I think I just did it and didn't think about it as much when I don't know why you think so differently when you're employed by someone. I tell the employee you really start to think differently and self employed in the house together. I started to think differently. But yeah. Um, it is a challenge. I have quite a few single friends that are in my age range. Um, a lot of them, you know, make what I make a way more and they do like to go out a lot. Um, and so that makes it difficult. I think in this season, especially with some, you know, health issues I've been having learning to say no, I'm and learning. It's okay to say no sometimes and you can't be at everything and then you have to kind of just be very selective of like what's really important.
Speaker 1 24:05 Um, and then like, you know, some of the things that you've taught me, which has been amazing having this relationship with you over the last year and a half or so. Um, if it doesn't really fit in the budget, it's like a hard no. Right. Are there ways where you can kind of be creative? Yes. Go and function at these things. But I ate at home, which right now, dietary wise, it's helpful for me anyway. So can I eat at home? Cause I mean I'm have Southern roots so I make sure my parents have raised me so that my freezer and refrigerator are full, that all the time and pantry. So there's no excuse. Um, and I eat at home is still go and fellowship. Cause I know even as a speech pathologist we talk about like how dining is really about the social aspect of it more than anything else.
Speaker 1 24:53 And I know for me, even though I'm a foodie, the da, the fellowship is most important. So go and be at this event and can I eat at home or you know, can I eat afterwards or whatever the case may be. And then maybe a couple of times a month if it's, you know, a month that there's a lot of events going on, can I pick two of those that I'm actually gonna dine at those events. So kind of selective. So I've had to get creative, um, recently and figure it out. Right. And then keeping like, not to be churchy or whatever. I know that I grew up saved kind of a young age, but I tried to honestly think about like, God, am I being a good steward over what you gave me? Come on. Like how can I really make sure that um, you know, and that's how much getting it right.
Speaker 1 25:43 Cause yeah, I'm type a, but I, you getting it wrong is not a problem. It's like how can I use what you gave me to the best of my ability? How can I take like, you know, the fish and loaves of bread and kind of spread it and make more and make sure that I'm also using it to do well on our churches motto for so long, our home churches, um, to make life better for someone else. So how am I still using what you gave me to make sense to help others and others and then also make sure I'm doing some of the things that I like, but having like a healthy balance of that. Um, so just like again, if I, that balance of this internal thing, I mean I know I think too much it can be over-thinker but it's just like being, the word that comes to mind is intentional, intentional and that just swiping or just doing things without thinking about it.
Speaker 1 26:33 Like having a plan also helps too. I think that I'm a planner. We talked about the budget thing and some of that, the why NAB and stuff can be a little, the apps can be hard to manage all the time, but just having a plan like for instance, um, and things you don't even think about, you do. I've already started playing it for the kids in my family for their, um, Christmas gifts so that Christmas won't like kinda hit me at one time. Yeah. My family is super, super close and all of the little nieces and nephews and godchildren, I pack clothes and toys and stuff for, for Christmas. So I started putting a list in my phone already and thinking about things that they like and trying to figure it out now. And then I started using, um, Facebook marketplace. There you go. A couple of things that I wanted to sell that I need to get rid of and then was able to find like some brand new unopened toys for them that they really want it and I'm like, okay, pay $15 for it now or buy it later at Christmas time for 35.
Speaker 0 27:31 Right, right. And just that point and being intentional,
Speaker 1 27:35 right? Planning, being attention, it'll the trust. So I won't get financially overwhelmed. Right. Time comes, you know, when I have the extra money that's coming in from my, um, home health that I'm doing PRN or as needed, I'm taking that money and buy, I'm like, okay. I always buy my mom a couple of gift cards for Christmas to go along with her gifts. So spreading those things out so that it makes sense down the road and November doesn't come and I'm like, Oh my goodness, I'm about to drop $500 on Christmas gift.
Speaker 0 28:04 Right. Yeah. Yeah. Planning ahead. I love that it's, it's all about, I feel like it's all about intentionality, which I think is one of the, I think it's one of the struggles for most of us because we want to just be able to go and do and all that stuff, but when we plan ahead we can go and do and not have the guilt afterwards or not have, you know, like the anxiety about actually participating. So I love that. So good. I'm glad you mentioned being creative because that's what I was, one of the things I was going to say is, and you mentioned that part of like going sometimes and participating, you know, for the fellowship and stuff like that. But I remember we were young and married and we were broke. So our situation was a little different. But I remember a lot of times when there might be something that was out.
Speaker 0 28:46 Sometimes we would, we would do that. We would go and share an appetizer or something like that or we would be really proactive and just ask our friends to come over to our house, you know, and it's like everybody bring a potluck or you know, or you know, we'll, or we'll cook or we'll order pizza or something like that because you're right, it's the fellowship that's really the most important and all of these meetings about it. It doesn't really matter. Are you eating pizza on the couch and paper plates or are you going out to some fancy dinner now? I don't like a fancy dinner too, just as much as any way, every week. Little much. Um, one of the things, just on that note before we kind of seal off that part of the conversation, um, that one of my single clients did that I thought was so great.
Speaker 0 29:25 She actually, we're at kind of like a fancy, um, business like downtown. And so they're, one of the things that she dealt with was, it was kind of like everybody ate fancy lunches every week or whatever. And so it was something that it was like, you know, she decided what, what worked for her was we just decided, okay, she's going to go to the ATM. I don't remember what day she did it. She's going to go to the ATM Monday morning every week and get a certain amount of cash now. She didn't do like a hundred cash envelopes or anything like that, but for her kind of entertainment, eating out movie money, she just got like one certain amount of cash every Monday. And then that was a really good way for her to say this lasts me through the entire week until next Monday. And that was kind of her like fund money. And it was like when the fund money was gone, it was gone. But um, but she just kind of used that as her gauge to determine when, when she did and when she didn't. And if she wanted to go out on Friday night to the movies, that meant maybe she brought her lunch to work or you know, whatever. But she just got rid of one fun money thing and that was, that was, that worked for her. But that's also the other part of it is you just have to figure out what works for you.
Speaker 1 30:41 Absolutely. And I think, I forgot some little things because you've taught me so many nuggets over, but when you said that it rang a bell about like taking the money out. Like I think I was bad with just, I mean, and nowadays we just use cards so much for sure. We don't share the cash. And so you and I had talked about that and my overspending was some time in the grocery department, one person household. Again, this is kind of ridiculous. So I started doing that and taking the cash out and I was like, wow, I drive so much for work and I don't have time to do it. But that wasn't, that was really not the truth because I go to the bank weekly on a certain day for a business deposit.
Speaker 0 31:17 Uh, you're that way.
Speaker 1 31:19 I'm going there anyway. So I started to take out the money for groceries and then I'm using that. And when it's gone, it's gone. Like, and I've been doing better with it because it's not a need per se that I need to go use a card and buy something over top of that. Like it has to wait a week. It's okay.
Speaker 0 31:36 Right, right. I love that. That's so good. Yeah. Because like you said, like there's always an option. Like you, you'd probably got some at home. We all probably have some at home if we really want to say it.
Speaker 1 31:45 Right, right, right. And packing lunches. I mean I've been huge on that. My mom was a teacher so we always are used to packing lunches. So that's, you know, it hasn't been an issue as far as spending too much on lunches. It's always the weekend fun time entertainment that where the, you know, where you spend your money. Um, coupon and Groupon and living social person. My dad was the one that when the Sunday paper came, he was doing the clippings and I got that from him as a young age. So that always helps to, to get the deals to save a lot, you know, with Groupon and them. And social and that type of thing too.
Speaker 0 32:19 Right. So in the last couple of minutes that we have, because like I said, I feel like the tables have turned and this is like we're, we're learning so much from Tiffany today, but what would you say to the single listener, men and women? Um, like what encouragement would you give them if they're struggling with their relationship with money or if they're feeling like they just can't seem to get a grasp on a certain part or if they're just feeling lonely. Like you kind of said at the beginning, like what little pieces of encouragement could you give them to, to help watch them to the next place?
Speaker 1 32:58 Sure. I guess I'll address the first thing that I said about the loan in this piece. Cause I sometimes have to preach this to myself. So this is me encouraging myself and encouraging others. So as far as the loneliness, I just think that you need to know that it's a season. I could go back to Ecclesiastes, these and my mother again, she preaches all the time. To me it's a season for everything. So this is the season, it may not be your, you know, season for a lifetime, but it's where you are now. And knowing that the great habits that you're making and good choices you're making and being a good steward over your money is going to serve you well in the future is for a greater purpose. So sometimes I'm motivated knowing that God, you know, the spouse is coming and the kids are coming, whatever that I, you know, trust and believe you for is calming.
Speaker 1 33:42 So I have to show you that I'm in a good place and being a good steward over what I have in order for you to add to my life, we, you know, I have to be in good relationship with you. We have to be good guy. And then on top of it, I have to show you that I'm doing well with what you already, you know, and trusted me with. So, and trusting his timing. Um, that's the hard, when you're a planner and you're like, God, I didn't expect the, you know, get divorced and blah, blah, blah. But trusting his timing in that there was, you know, a reason and you know,
Speaker 0 34:15 and then it works everything for good.
Speaker 1 34:17 Yes. Jeremiah says it like he has a plan for you as a plan with Tiffany. Johnny's name on it has to trust that he's going to do what he said he's going to do. And so, um, just the preparation piece, I think about a lot, like if I can handle this now that one day I won't have to juggle all this. So again, my mother always comes to mind and she'll say, when I get really frustrated and I'm like, Oh, it's end of the month and mom, things are cutting it close. And I struggled to pay the rent at the office and she said, honey, it won't always be like this. And you start to think about stories in the Bible where people really struggled and were hard-pressed but they weren't as jury started to think about like, this is this one always be like this. This is a deacon and I'm learning something in the season and is prepping me for my future. So st Louis today encouraged that. It won't always be like this.
Speaker 0 35:09 That's good. We, we read the story of Ruth and Boaz this morning with my, um, with my second grader and I love the part when Beau as he intentionally left grind, he told his men to harvesters, I want you to intentionally leave some grain. And I was talking to my son about that, you know, cause I was saying how it used to be anything that was left behind, they would just leave there for the poor people to come and pick up. And I said, but he told the men intentionally drops so that roof can come by and pick it up. And it's like when Ruth was coming by and picking up those intentionally dropped pieces of grain, I don't believe she had any clue that it was not going to be much longer. And she was going to be living in the palace. Right. And it's like you don't know what this, see this season, live your life in this season. You don't know what God has for you in the next season.
Speaker 1 35:58 Wow. Know that's great though. That was a good gyms there. Like, I mean, the Bible has so many stories like that that we really glean from them. You're like, I can't kind of stay in my, my mess or in my room too long because guys, like I'm sitting in front of you letting you know that this is just for a time.
Speaker 0 36:16 Right. This is just real time. It's good. That's good.
Speaker 1 36:20 The struggle, you know, won't, won't last forever. That's good. Um, yeah, I found this quote that I came up in my newsfeed that I had posted in August of 2016 and I reposted it again and was like, wow, this is still true. And it's says, instead of looking at what's depressing, look at what's a blessing Kristin Butler. Um, I think it's really true. Like at whatever's going on financially, you're looking at your bank account. Like you looking at that almost overdraft and you know, you get depressed, but look at the blessing in it that she caught it in time or that, or like I was telling my mother the week I had money to move from the savings to the checking to make sure things happen. Like, look at the blessed, find the blessing in it.
Speaker 0 37:02 That's fine. The blessing it. That's so good. That's a good word and I think that's a good word to end on. Let's like, instead of looking at what's depressing, let's look at the blessing. That's so, that's so good. Tiffany, this has been just the best. Thank you so much for coming and sharing with all of us. I just, I know that are single and married listeners are going to get so much out of this conversation. Thank you for being with us.
Speaker 1 37:24 Thank you for that opportunity. I really appreciate it. Thank you for what you're doing to bless others and financial and relationship with Christ.
Speaker 0 37:32 Amazing. Thank you. You're so sweet. All right, let's talk soon.
Speaker 1 37:36 All right. Bye. Bye.
Speaker 0 37:38 Alright. I hope you enjoyed that conversation and listen. If this sounded really interesting to you and you have a money conversation that you want to have on air. If you have a money story that you want to share, or if you have some questions that you think, Oh my goodness, I've been struggling with this, and probably there are other people out there who are to then email me, get in contact with me. You can reach
[email protected] and we can talk about getting you online so we can share your story with everyone too. So again, this is Alexis <inaudible> with that makes total sense. Reminding all of us, myself included, that we can do well for ourselves so that we can do good for others. Thanks
Speaker 3 38:23 <inaudible>.
