Speaker 0 00:04 Hi and welcome to. That makes total sense. The podcast where we talk about faith, finance and everyday life in a way that makes total sense. I'm your host Alexis BU city. On this podcast you'll hear the personal stories of friends I'll be interviewing who are doing familiar things in new and innovative ways. We'll answer questions specifically about money and our relationship with it and we'll explore faith and Bible teaching together. In all of these. It's not about changing our convictions as much as it is about messing with our methods. We'll have a lot of moments here together where we pause and say that makes total sense.
Speaker 0 00:44 Hi, I'm Alexis <inaudible> and welcome to that makes total sense. Money conversations edition. I am so glad that you joined us today for the second installment of our money conversations here on the podcast. If you miss the first episode in our money conversations edition, you'll want to go back and listen to that. I linked it and it is a great story about generosity and working through a debt free journey so you don't want to miss that one. But today on the show we are going to focus on money and marriage. So my good friend Monica Harris is coming on the show today and she has agreed to open herself up and be vulnerable for the benefit of all of us. So really you get to listen in on a coaching session. Monica is going to tell me a little bit about what's going on in her relationship with her husband and her relationship with money.
Speaker 0 01:41 And then I get the chance to just respond like I would during a normal coaching session. I give her some encouragement, I give her some tips and we just know that this is going to benefit everyone who's listening because let's face it, we're all facing the same types of struggles and challenges when it comes to money in our marriages. So I'm so thankful for Monica. You don't want to miss this and just a little disclaimer if you're single, stay tuned because there's some great information in here about personal finance in general, our relationship with money and how to budget for those things that are really important to us and to live out our values through our finances. So big thanks to Monica big thanks to you guys. Stay tuned and listen to this conversation on money and marriage.
Speaker 1 02:32 Okay everybody, I want to welcome you to. That makes total sense. This is the podcast where we talk about faith finance in everyday life in a way that makes total sense and this is one of our finance focused episodes and I am so excited to be talking with my friend Monica Harris. Hi Monica.
Speaker 0 02:52 Hi, I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 1 02:55 Hi, I'm so excited you're here. So guys, Monica is like has agreed to come on and talk with us today about money and marriage and I'm so excited. But Monica has her own podcast. I want you to know, I'm going to put the link in the show notes for you. She has a podcast called creation refined and I have actually been a guest on her podcast, so she is kind of returning the favor and she's coming on and going to talk about money with me today. And Monica and I actually met last summer, I think it's been over a year. We met in Austin, we got together with some girls because we were all hanging out with my friend Michelle McKinney and Michelle actually was on the podcast in episodes three and four. So you'll want to go check that out too. But Monica and I got together and had really incredible Mexican food and Austin and that was how we met. So I'm so excited to have Monica on.
Speaker 2 03:50 Oh, that was a great dinner. I met, I'm friends with all those women, complete strangers and now we're all friends.
Speaker 1 03:57 Oh my goodness. Isn't it so great. I love it so much. So yes. So we're going to talk to Monica today and she kind of brought these topics of like, okay, I don't know, what do you want to talk about? What do we think that the listeners would want to hear when it comes to money? Because we don't just want to talk about like, Oh, I have $500 on this credit card, or Oh, how should I put my budget in here? And we don't want to just focus on the numbers because most of you know, what I like to do is focused on our relationship with money. Because if we can get our relationship with money in a really good spot, then we're going to see our money grow. We're going to see our money, do the things that we want it to do, we're going to see it express our values. Um, and so, but that really starts with a good relationship with money. And so today, Monica brought some questions and we're going to have some conversations about not just our relationship with money, but our relationship with our spouse. Right?
Speaker 2 04:55 <inaudible> yes.
Speaker 1 04:58 I'm so excited about this because marriage and money is a big deal, right, Monica?
Speaker 2 05:04 It, it is. And, and it's marriage and money. Um, they can often be conflicting and hard conversations and different views are coming in to how I handle it. And, um, why don't mean money talk is hard.
Speaker 1 05:22 Money talk is hard. So tell us about like something that you guys find yourself. So how long have you been married? First of all,
Speaker 2 05:29 we've been married for 16 years.
Speaker 1 05:32 For 16 years. That's the same as us. Um, so you guys have, I know that you said like about a decade ago was when you guys really first started getting on a budget. But we're talking today because it wasn't like, Oh, you got on a budget 10 years ago and now that you have a budget, everything's perfect and you can talk about money freely and all of your financial dreams have come true. Right? Correct. I wish, I wish it was that simple. So, so, so talk to me about some of the things that you find that maybe you struggled with then and maybe some of the things that you're still struggling with now so that we can have a conversation that hopefully will encourage our listeners in how to improve their marriage and money situations.
Speaker 2 06:17 Okay. Well let's go back a little bit. Um, when we came into the marriage, we both had very different spending habits. I, um, grew up in a house where we didn't spend money because we didn't have any money. And so we didn't go into debt. I am naturally just a saver and a hoarder for, you know, I guess it's the scarcity mentality. Um,
Speaker 1 06:37 and then my other show on that.
Speaker 2 06:41 Okay, great. Um, and then, uh, my husband, um, debt was just a natural part of life and that was what he saw. And so us coming together as a very young married couple, we had a lot of debt and it was overwhelming for me. So convincing him to get on to a budget was hard. And we eventually did. And once he saw the snowball effect where you pay off a small debt and then that debt, that money rolls into the bigger debt, he, it was really freeing for him. So he got on board, um, and we did pay off her debt. Um, but since then <inaudible> we find ourselves in this cycle of, um, we have a, a quotation, you can't see me but quote a budget, but we don't wait. We don't always stick to it. I, I would rather not spend any money and then see what happens. And he's like, it's fine.
Speaker 1 07:32 Let's just spend some money. My, my question is,
Speaker 2 07:37 so it's like how do we have, um, a productive conversation within the marriage about our different views and what's valuable and important to each of us to where each of us can hear the other one without being defensive.
Speaker 1 07:50 Right. Right. So I, I love, I love that. And I love that question. And when you were talking, I'm like, we have to go back to this word budget because I'm just going to put it out there, like the budget for most of the people listening, like I kind of jokingly with my clients, call it the B word. Like nobody wants to talk about it like the budget. Um, but, and so it's great that you guys got on a budget and then you have a budget now, but I kind of want to go back and just ask you, what was it that triggered him not to have the budget, but what was it that triggered him to want to change his status with debt and how he related to debt? Do you remember? I do. It was me, um, conversation. But how did you do that? What happened?
Speaker 2 08:41 Well, the, I was in charge of paying the bills and it was very stressful for me. It was causing me a lot of anxiety, seeing those numbers and then seeing the money that we don't have to pay it off. Um, and so my sister recommended, um, the extreme money makeover by Dave Ramsey. Can I see? Okay. Um, and aye asked him to, let's just try this, let's just try this cause it's too much and I just need to try something. And he was very hesitant and he was like, Oh my gosh, I roll, try this. And then quickly we started seeing where our money was going and, um, how much money we actually had and what we were spending our money on. And once we were able to start paying off debt, Oh he was like, he was on board when seeing all those credit cards being paid off.
Speaker 1 09:36 Okay. That's what I was gonna ask. Like what was shift for him? Like when he yes, cause it's actually um, yes, the book, it's um, total money makeover, which like, like kind of a hybrid. Like we love that show, extreme makeover it total. But yes. Yeah. So I just want to meet, I just want to say that because I want, that was a game changer for us in our marriage to actually, um, fabulous book. It's a fabulous book with lots of real life stories. And I mean, you know, it's just great to kind of help you make that shift in your mentality. So when he started seeing those credit cards disappear, it wasn't just that the credit credit cards were going away like it did he express to you? Like what, what was he feeling?
Speaker 2 10:17 It was the freedom that came with that. Like, Oh, we will one, we have control. And then once we started paying off debt, Oh look, we have McGee
Speaker 1 10:31 spinning it out that you've already bought, then use it. Start staying in your pocket and start saving in your household and all of that. Right. Absolutely. Good. Okay. So thank you for sharing that. So once, so, so that's kind of what I wanted to focus on there is it's like, it's not necessarily like a budget is just a tool and like that's what I want and that's what I want people to hear is that the budget, it's a, it's the B word. It's kind of, it sounds kind of nasty and gross and it's restricting. Um, you know, and those are the things that we feel, but the budget is just a tool to get you where you want to be. And your husband started realizing he wanted it to be free. So you can use the budget as a tool to get you to freedom if that's, you know, if that's where you are. But you guys are debt free now and you still use it budget. So it can obviously be a tool used for other things. But now inside of your budget you're having different conversations and so you've built a budget and now you're like, I'd kind of rather just not spin this. And he's kinda like, so let me ask you, does he want to spend or does he want to overspend on your budget? Yeah,
Speaker 2 11:41 no, he doesn't want to overspend. I still have the, let's wait and see what happens and see what happens this month before we spend anything extra. And he's like, it's,
Speaker 1 11:53 we have an extra mean.
Speaker 2 11:55 Um, so like if I want to go shopping just for fun, I mean, I, there's some freedom in that. I would rather not, because I know from past experience something's gonna come up like, Oh my gosh, we're going to have to pay for tires even though we have a small emergency fund and it's fine. It's just the, um, I would rather not spend and he's like, it's fine. It's fine. We, we can do this. And I'm like, okay. And then we do it and it's fine. And then so the, the conversation is, um, I guess, I dunno, I'm having a hard time putting into words. Um,
Speaker 1 12:38 so like, let me ask you if you're going, if you're saying that it's shopping and you're like, I think I kind of, when I go shopping, I freedom in that like, um, you don't have to filet your whole budget for us, but just give us a perspective of like where, which line item does that come from? Where inside of your budget, if Monica decides I'm just going to go, I'm going to go shopping and I'm, I'm, I'm just going to go do it. Where does that come from? What category does that come from for you?
Speaker 2 13:03 Uh, there's just like a little extra to the side. Like it's, it's fun money. Does that make sense? Like I don't it just, uh, it's just off to the side. So we have our savings and now our budget, we've definitely gone from every single thing is line item two. Okay, well here's this and here they're broader line items and so we just have this extra where after we've saved and put the money where it needs to go, then we had to just this lump sum that allows a little bit more freedom to where we can play
Speaker 1 13:38 mean. It's kind of like a kind of like a fun miscellaneous or something like that.
Speaker 2 13:42 Yeah. Yes.
Speaker 1 13:43 Okay. And is that like for the whole family, like if you want to go shopping or like if you guys want to go to the amusement park?
Speaker 2 13:49 Yes. That's for the whole family.
Speaker 1 13:51 That was for the whole family. Okay. So this is great. So can I make a suggestion?
Speaker 2 13:56 Yes.
Speaker 1 13:57 And we're talking about money and marriage and I'm like totally going into coach mode. I'm going to say go back, go back to some of those independent categories. Just add a few more because I feel like that would give you, just try it for a month or two and see if that doesn't give you a little bit more freedom. So for example, early on in our marriage, we were paying off debt still, but we gave each of us, we had, um, I think, I think Dave and the book calls it pocket money or we had fun of money and it was like his and hers, right? We call it personal money. And back in the day it used to be an envelopes, but now we just do it on our budgeting app and we have, um, my, my personal money and his personal money. And then we actually have, we have four kids.
Speaker 1 14:46 And so we don't give each of them like a category, but we just say it's kid personal kind of in quotes. And that, that covers a lot of the same thing. It's like fun. It's for your discretion. Um, and so because we're the parents for the kids, it's our discretion. But you know, we did that and then we kind of actually have a separate one for family, you know, for entertainment and things like that. But early on in our marriage when it was just the two of us, we had my personal money and his personal money and I remember I threw a, you remember like, um, like a skincare cosmetics party kind of thing with this new like natural care that had come out the is Oh 1214 years ago, something like that. And um, anyway, so a friend of mine at work at the time was, was doing this and so all of these women are at my house and everybody's really loving the products and like at the same time, everybody's wanting to buy something and everybody's like calling or texting their husband, you know, like, so I have like women in all parts of my house, in my yard, like in different places.
Speaker 1 15:47 Like, okay, you know, I'm thinking about this, can I spend this and this and that. And I'm telling you, I think it's great. I think it's wonderful. I think it's perfect to talk with your, with your husband about money. But what was kind of funny to me was we had already had this conversation, not specifically about the skincare or the makeup or the party, but when we did our budget, I mean we preemptively had that conversation because I have personal money and I had, you know, that we actually threw a little bit in and I don't a lot of wives that I know, do they, they put a special something in for their wife to have like beauty care, like cosmetics. And I have a friend who calls it, they call it, her pretty fun goes into all of that, which I think is great.
Speaker 1 16:29 But um, and so, and so we were, so my husband got home and I'm telling him, you know, of course we're still kind of newlyweds at this point. You know, we've been married less than five years and, and I'm telling him and he says, Oh my goodness. He said he just thought that's kind of funny because you have an envelope but personal money, if you want to spend it on that, spin it. If you don't, don't, but you don't have to call me and ask me because that's up to you, you know, fits into your personal money. And so that's kind of how we have, um, address that mentality I think on and on because it's like if it were a tire blowout, that would be a separate fund for us. And so mentally we make it different category for that on paper or on the app.
Speaker 1 17:09 We make a different category for that. That way we don't feel necessarily hindered because we've worked hard to get to the point where we have, you know, no debt and savings and we have a really good budget that we feel like works for us, that represents our values. And so we have, um, you know, a separate kind of category for a tire blows out is not the same as lipstick for me. You know what I'm saying? And it gives a little bit of freedom, um, inside of that. Now real quick, something else about the personal money side. This is just about our marriage because what I would want to highlight for people is that money and marriage, having conversations and getting on the same page just not mean a that you will agree on everything when it comes to money and B, that you will shift your money personality so to speak.
Speaker 1 18:00 So like we were talking and you're kind of a more of a saber and he's kind of a spinner. Well, getting on the same page doesn't mean that you're both going to be savers. Where are they going to be? Spenders. Right. And so sometimes just getting on the same page just is like figuring out a way to work through it. So a real quick example, along those same lines, my husband and I still have personal money that we allocate every month for the, you know, for each other, for each of us. And it cracks us up every month because every month, by the end of the month, my fund is dry as a bone. I mean, there's no money left in my fund ever. Like ever. And I, I joke and I, I have to be careful who I'm joking with cause I say I drink my fun money, which means I go to Starbucks.
Speaker 1 18:44 Like I have the Starbucks app people, I'm not going to lie. And so I'm like, I will drink my fun money. I will nickel and dime myself. I will $3 and $5 myself into zero money every month, every month without fail. My husband, it's like Monica, my husband is a hoarder. He's also a musician. So he will save, save, save, save, save, save, save. And then they heal. He'll be off work on a Friday and he's like, Hey, I'm going to guitar center. Oh have fun. And I see them like pack something up. He's going to trade. Or he's like, he's like, which would be checking the app to see how much money he has left on. Like, what are you going to do is like, Oh, I think I'm going to buy this guitar. I think I would buy this amp. I'm like, what the heck? You're going to buy an amp? Like what? He's like, you've been drinking Starbucks today. There's freedom inside of the marriage for each of us to kind of explore our own personalities when it comes to money and kind of do our own thing. And what makes us, you know, kind of what makes us happy. How do we want to spend, how do we want to save? So does that, does that like resonate with you at all?
Speaker 2 19:55 It does. What I keep thinking about is this app that you're talking about because we struggle, we will never look at a spreadsheet. So this line item that we have, it's in our heads,
Speaker 1 20:07 which is not helpful.
Speaker 2 20:11 I tried several apps, but they have not been. Um, it's not been a good match for us. What,
Speaker 1 20:18 okay. So we're not trying to put anybody on blast, but there's lots of apps and lots of different personalities. So what you tried and what did you kind of like and dislike about them?
Speaker 2 20:27 I don't remember the ones that we have tried, but I can tell you what I didn't like about 'em. Um, it, I think our struggle was, um, keep having to keep the receipts to put it in later. And we never, that was not convenient for our life. And that's one of the reasons why we don't at a spreadsheet, because who's going to sit down and look at a spreadsheet? No, thank you. So we need something that connects with our bank account.
Speaker 1 20:57 Yes. 100%.
Speaker 2 20:58 Um, and, and so, but there's also a hesitancy in that because that's your, that's your personal money information. And so, but I think having some kind of app would be really valuable.
Speaker 1 21:10 Yeah. So I, yeah, so I'll tell you about the couple of apps that we've tried. There's one that we were using for a while and it honestly, we were so hardcore total money makeover people that we actually used the envelope system, actual cash in envelopes for like 14 years. Okay. Way, way past when anybody was even touching real money anymore. We still were. And um, but it just got where it didn't work for us obviously, because nobody's dinosaurs like us, everybody's living in the now. So we ended up figuring out a way to do this digitally. Right? So I think connecting to your, to your bank is key. But my caveat for that is there are apps and I would say for you and for, for our listeners, my opinion as a coach is stay away from the apps that automatically categorize things for you.
Speaker 1 22:04 Because some people will say, well, I just looked at my bank, I just looked at my bank because my bank does a pie chart or it'll do something like this. Yes. But if you go to the grocery store and you buy things in different category, target is the one for me or even Amazon, right? It's like those things need to be split up often. Or if you go to the grocery store, it might categorize it as groceries, but really you bought gas, you know, so the ones that your bank, I feel like generally the ones that the bank provides are not the winner because they think they're smarter than they are. So I would say get a, get a stupid app, right? Get an app that makes you categorize it yourself. So one that connects to your bank because yes, the receipts can be a pain and then one that makes you categorize it yourself.
Speaker 1 22:49 So the two that we have used, um, since we switched from the cash envelope system, one is the every dollar app that is provided by Ramsey solutions. It's a good app. Um, there were some things about it that we didn't love, but it's a, it's a good app. Um, it was not as intuitive for my husband and so it was, it was harder for him to get completely on board and use and that's part of the point, right? I went out on my phone, he wants it on his phone so that we can track and be up to date and do this at the same time. Um, so the one that we're using now, actually a client recommended to me, um, and it's called why NAB? You need a budget Y N a, B, and you can find that at <inaudible> dot com. Um, it is a little bit more complicated.
Speaker 1 23:35 I feel like that every dollar to set up initially, but they both connect to your bank. You do have to pay a little bit, but it's cheaper than Netflix for both of those. They usually charge you on an basis. And, and why NAB will give you something crazy like 27 days free or something like that as a trial. Okay. You connected with your bank and see the other thing is when, you know, so going back to the receipt thing, and this is the cool thing is that we all, we have different marriages and we have different personalities inside of our marriages. So there are going to be things that were different for different people. So we still do look at a spreadsheet about quarterly and kind of make sure that it is where we want it to be. But that's because that spreadsheet already exists for us and we've been using that same spreadsheet for 15 years.
Speaker 1 24:21 It's actually on my website by the way, so I can link to it. It's, it's pretty nerdy and it's really nitty gritty. But if that's your gig, use it. Um, the other thing is that we, so then we just put our stuff in our app every month and you can basically populated, it's not a lot of work, but then the receipts, Oh, help us with the receipts. Right. Because we would still have something come through and say, okay, this is from Kroger, this is from target or whatever. I'm like, what did you buy? Like how, how do I remember to categorize it? Because usually I don't do it the same day that it clears, you know, I do it like on a weekly basis. So my husband, it's not great I keeping the receipts. And so I would get frustrated and say, I don't know what you bought at target four days ago for $47 was it dog food or was it, you know, like was it close?
Speaker 1 25:10 I don't know. And those are differences in how we categorize. So what we did is he started taking a picture. If he spins and he has a receipt, whether it's a restaurant or a target or gas, he will take a picture of the receipt. And then we opened like a Google photos share to Google photos for the receipts. And so when I'm going through and I'm swiping on my wine app and I'm categorizing on my wine Abbott, I see target on September 1st for $47 and 62 cents. And I know that wasn't me. I open up my Google on my phone and I say, Oh, he bought dog food and a shirt and then I can go in and split it up and categorize it how it needs to be. But the point is, you guys, for all of us, we just have to find something that works for us because the tracking par is just as important as the planning part when it comes to budgeting. Yes, yes, it totally does. Yeah. I mean, so, so that's, that's kind of where the apps are. But I would say get an app that's smart but not too smart. You know, you could add that makes you, you have this, a similar sensation is when you pulled that money out of the envelopes all those years ago, you have to, you have to actually say, no, this goes to grocery and you watch the grocery numbers go down, right. $100 and you get that sensation that goes, Oh, I think we're eating spaghetti next week, right?
Speaker 2 26:43 Yes. We actually have a separate account, a banking account that we transfer our grocery money over to, um, and our gas money over. So we don't have one account. We have one account, everything drops into. And then we have a couple other accounts for different cards that go to that.
Speaker 1 27:00 Yeah. And I have, I have actually seen someone where she literally, I mean this is overkill, but I actually saw someone who had one of those, um, you know, the online like high yield savings, high yield checkings, they're not really high yield anymore, but you can get it in for free and you can basically get as many accounts as you want and you can nickname them whatever, whatever you want. And this moment I really feel like, I'm not exaggerating. I feel like it was something in the neighborhood of like 16 accounts and it was everything from saving for her new car to hair and nails and everything in between. Like everything was nickname. She showed me her app on her phone every, you know, and I was like, this was, this was not a client, but just someone I met and we were talking about this kind of in this context and I'm like, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 27:45 I'm like, that would totally stress me out. Right? Like it would completely stress me out. But for her it was what worked for her and it was how she kept track of those categories. So there are so many things that we can do to help that. Um, the main thing is that we find something to help us track something to help us plan. But going back to kind of the original stuff, it's like what is reflective of our values? You know, now you guys value freedom and then now with you guys together, it's like you value the security of knowing that you're going to have money for the, what if he, it sounds like, I don't want to put words in his mouth. It sounds like he values being, having the freedom to have the spontaneity to do something fun now.
Speaker 2 28:35 Yes.
Speaker 1 28:36 Right. So what what you guys need to do is, and I think maybe try those extra couple of categories cause I think it might help, but what you need to come down to really is just is clarify those values for you. It is having money for the wedding, for him, it's having money for the fun now and then find a way to build both of those things into your budget so that both of your needs are being met in that space. Because both of those things are super important, not just for you personally, but for your family. It's important to have money in case the tire blows out, like panic right now with our car. Um, it's important to have those monies for money, for the car repairs and for those things when something happens. But it's also really important as a family to be able to bond and do those fun things now and have the opportunity to do that.
Speaker 1 29:32 Especially if that's something daddy wants to do, you know, or, or if it's something that you want to do and say, I'm going to go shopping or I want to take the kids for ice cream or whatever, it's, it's, it's, uh, a good thing. And especially if that's one of his values, it's a good thing to have the money built into your budget to be able to do that too. I think that, I think the challenge I'm seeing is that you guys both know that both of those things are important. I think the challenge that I've seen just from talking to you right now is that those things are kind of blended and mixed into the same fund. And so it's causing anxiety for both of you because they're mixed together instead of being separated. But if you said, this is the, what if fund on the left and this is the fun now fund on the right and it wouldn't have to be competent.
Speaker 1 30:18 You don't have to have 10 categories. I just did it in two. Right. Whereas the whiff, here's the fun now, and then you make those both as sinking fund, which you know you could, which means that the money from this month rolls over into the next month if it's not spent. And that way you're not going to go to the amusement park every month, but you might go every few months and you're not going to have a tire blow out every month, but you might have something to like that every few months. That money rollover every month, which every dollar we'll do if you, if you make it and why an Apple do automatically. Then you know how much money you have in the, what if fund and how much money you have in the fund now fund and then you guys can, you can both have what you want. You see what I'm saying? And then it just kind of separates it and I think that would ease some of that anxiety that you're feeling.
Speaker 2 31:06 I think so too. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks for putting that in perspective. In perspective. For me it was a, it was just like a struggle. I'm like, I don't know how to fix this.
Speaker 1 31:15 Yeah, yeah. But I think, but I think it is, it's important to just make sure that, because both of those things now you could say something else and, and somebody might pull the hammer down and be like, okay, that's not even on the radar. That's not appropriate. Both of those things are real black. Both of those things are like, or something that you can say, yes, this is actually important for our marriage. It's important for each other. It's, it's an important value. It's something that we both see as valuable. It's something we both see as important. But how do you make both of those things happen at the same time?
Speaker 2 31:44 Well, I think we can know. I'm going to definitely look up those apps too. I think the apps are going to be a game changer too. We just need be focused and less lazy about it.
Speaker 1 31:54 Well, it's, I mean honestly it's like full disclosure, I mean over labor day was kind of what I was catching up. Um, and I felt like back to school got back, she got to me and you know, all this stuff and I'm like, Oh my goodness, I've got to regroup with August and then really get September on the table so that, you know, I feel like September is kind of a fresh start for a lot of people. And so it felt that way for me too. And I was like, okay, I gotta do this. This is what I coach people to do. This is what we talk about, but I have to be practicing what I preach, you know? And so it's hard. It's hard to make the move to actually make it happen. But I think that's, that's a value that I think a lot of people listening are going to share is the E the ability to relax inside of that, inside of that system or organization or budget or whatever you want to call it, just the ability to relax. And once you know, you have things set up because it doesn't make it easier to have it in front of you than inside of your head.
Speaker 2 32:49 Yeah. Well. Yeah cause I could just cause I think it's over there. It doesn't mean it's there or if he's, he's spent it and I didn't realize it or you know, whatever, it's come up and we haven't communicated about it yet then then it's anxiety ridden versus freedom. So
Speaker 1 33:05 yeah. Yeah. It's good. Thanks for talking about this with us, Monica.
Speaker 2 33:09 Thanks for having me on.
Speaker 1 33:11 Yeah, I really appreciate it. I think this is going to be so incredibly helpful to people listening because we all live in cipher, married, we live inside this marriage and money conundrum, right? And so every single thing that we can do to help make that easier for us inside our relationship with our spouse and our relationship with money is just going to make both of those relationships better.
Speaker 2 33:33 I agree, friend. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 33:35 Awesome. All right, talk soon.
Speaker 0 33:37 All right. I hope you enjoyed that conversation and listen, if this sounded really interesting to you and you have a money conversation that you want to have on air, if you have a money story that you want to share, or if you have some questions that you think, Oh my goodness, I've been struggling with this, and probably there are other people out there who are to then email me, get in contact with me. You can reach
[email protected] and we can talk about getting you online so we can share your story with everyone too. So again, this is Alexis BU city with that makes total sense. Reminding all of us, myself included, that we can do well for ourselves so that we can do good for others. Thanks
Speaker 3 34:22 <inaudible>.
