Speaker 0 00:00:00 <inaudible> hi and welcome to that. Makes total sense. The podcast where we talk about faith, finance and everyday life in a way that makes total sense. I'm your host, Alexis obesity on this podcast, you'll hear the personal stories of friends I'll be interviewing, who are doing familiar things in new and innovative ways. We'll answer questions specifically about money and our relationship with it. And we'll explore and Bible teaching together in all of these. It's not about changing our convictions as much as it is about messing with our methods. We'll have a lot of moments here together where we pause then say that makes total sense.
Speaker 0 00:00:44 Hi, I'm Alexis Piseti and you're listening to that makes total sense guys. Today I am honored and privileged to bring you a conversation I had with crystal Evans Hearst. We talk about her new book, the 28 day prayer journey at daily guide to conversations with God. Now, crystal is, I want to say what she does. And she describes that in the first part of this conversation, but guys, crystal does it all. She's a writer, she's a speaker. She has a podcast. She has published multiple books. She's a homeschool mom is she is. Um, she is an encouragement to other women who are trying to find their gifts and walk in their callings. And in this book, she takes us through what was her own personal journey about five years ago to really dig in and just deep in her prayer life with God. What I loved about this book so much is that she just emphasizes over and over how God is always with us.
Speaker 0 00:01:50 We just need to keep the conversation going. The book releases on September 1st. And so I hope you will grab a copy of this for yourself. In the meantime, please enjoy this conversation I had with crystal Evans Hearst. Hi everybody. I'm Alexis B SETI. And this is, that makes total sense. I am sitting here on a cloudy day in Houston that just got a little bit brighter because crystal Evans Hearst is across my computer screen. Hey crystal. Hey, thanks for having me. Oh my goodness. I am completely excited to have you. I am going to give you a chance in just a second to tell everybody who you are and what we're going to talk about today. But I mentioned to you right before we were started recording that, um, I am one of your subscribers on your email list. And so when we were able to connect, um, about the podcast and about the book that you have coming out, I like almost didn't respond to your team because I saw this, Hey, Lexis, I'd love to connect and I of thought, Oh yeah, I'd love to connect with you too, crystal.
Speaker 0 00:03:01 This is great. And I opened it up and I'm like, Oh my goodness, it's really crystal. She wants to talk about the book. So welcome, welcome, welcome. I am so glad that I clicked open that night at midnight or whatever it was. Um, and you have a new book coming out, but I'd love for us. Of course, we'll spend most of the time talking about that, but if you can tell us, um, who you are, what your day job is, what your family looks like, where you guys live, all that good stuff to get us started.
Speaker 1 00:03:30 Yeah, well, um, I, I have like 10 day jobs, but I live in the Dallas Fort worth area married for 19 years. And I, um, we have five children. I have a blended family, um, two, um, two adult daughters, um, three sons who were still here and then two grandchildren from one of those adult daughters and, um, her and her spouse don't live far away. So I'm regularly asked to babysit. So that's kinda my family thing in my everyday. I also support, um, in a, in a few ways, um, in different ways at my church with women's ministry and some strategic shifts and changes, I work there. I'm also a speaker. I'm a writer, I'm a podcaster. I lead praise and worship sometimes. And then I still have to get dinner on the table and figure out how to train these boys so that they are not slobs and can be of assistance to their wives when they get married. So all of those things,
Speaker 0 00:04:25 Yes. On how to train the boys. So they're not slobs and they'll be,
Speaker 1 00:04:28 It's a whole situation, the whole situation. So what are the ages of your boys who are 17, 15 and 11?
Speaker 0 00:04:38 Oh my goodness. But can I just ask you like, it's, this is kind of a personal question about the boys. I'm like, do they still stink?
Speaker 1 00:04:47 Yeah. Well, so here's the thing is what I tell them. I says, you know, every night I said, did you take a bath? And the thing right now because of quarantine is no, but do I have to, cause I didn't, I didn't go outside today. And my response to them is, did you exist today? And then, uh, and then they say yes. And I said, and what are you to say a boy? I was like, that is the criteria that requires a daily bath.
Speaker 0 00:05:10 Yes. I love you. I love you. But I mean, mine are eight and six and I'm just going to say it's a, it can get a little stinky in our house. Like sometimes, I mean, I don't know this might embarrass them, but they never listen to the podcast, but I'm like sometimes I just walk into the room and I'm like, what, what is this? And my husband will say, it's boy, that's it. It's just the smell of boy. They just instinct sometimes. So I don't know what to do. I do not know what to do. Oh my goodness. So you really do have like 10 day jobs.
Speaker 1 00:05:45 Yeah. So, um, but I would say just for a living, um, I, there's a, there's an intersection for me between business and ministry, very much so oriented, but I have a heart to do some really practical things. And I just think that there are women of faith who have information, experience skills and passions who can teach certain things so that women who love Jesus, don't have to look at red book and don't have to look at programming to get information that they need. And I'm like, I'm not shaming anybody for doing so I'm just saying, but I just know a really, uh, you know, a lot of women who are smart, who are skilled, who are educated, who have a passion to have experience, they know what they're talking about and would love to say that too. And they happen to love Jesus. So, um, so I'm in the process of creating some ongoing, um, experiences online where women can come and learn, be mentored in specific practical areas.
Speaker 1 00:06:38 So think of it as a 20th century, Titus two situation. But, um, but it's not necessarily teaching how to cook. It's how to own your business. It's how to write that book. It's how to speak, man. It's how to deal with difficult relationships. It's how to deal with adult children, that kind of stuff. Um, so there's that, but then I do love Jesus and I do teach Bible studies and I do speak and write as well. So there's kind of this, um, in the middle. And I would say that that's kinda my day job, but I also homeschool my kids. I forgot I left that out. So there's that?
Speaker 2 00:07:09 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That's not a, that's a big,
Speaker 1 00:07:15 It's a big one. I've homeschooled my children now for, let me see. She's 20. So almost 19 years. And um, I did it on accident. I was going to do it for a year or two and send her back. And then the babies came and then I was so sad. I didn't want to send them away. So she, my oldest daughter was home with us at the time and she's like, no, don't send them, I'll help you. And then the five-year-old was gonna, you know, he was in kindergarten and we're going to sit in the first grade and that his little brother had a language disorder and he had another baby brother on the way in an, in a language therapist said he will probably get more talking at home sandwiched in between two, normally developed children, developing children than he will in a classroom.
Speaker 1 00:07:55 Cause they're going to put him in a classroom where the kids really don't talk. So then I said, I'll keep him for a little bit. I'll keep the middle one until like first or second grade, because the greatest fear was, how am I going to teach them how to read? I can teach my oldest child to do a research paper and solve an algebra problem, but how am I going to teach them how to read? And so, um, so yeah, so then that happened. And then I was thinking about sending him to school and my sister wanted to homeschool her kids. So then I was like, well, I'll do it for a year for you. So anyway, my, my family I'm come from an Evan's family. My sister's Priscilla Shire. My dad is Tony Evans, my brothers, Anthony Evans. And I have another brother named Jonathan and we're all in ministry at some level.
Speaker 1 00:08:37 And at one point I lived next door to my sister. So then the kids would run back and forth all day. And I'd always say, I take care of the homeschool subjects. And she took care of the homeschool lunch in PE. That's kind of worked out, but the long and short of it is right now. Um, the boys are older. They can do more independent work. I do always have somebody who's a sweet college student or something like that, just to make sure that nobody's on video games when I'm doing stuff like this. Right. Um, but that's kind of the totality of my life. It's going between meetings and interviews and scheduling, writing and making dinner.
Speaker 0 00:09:10 This is the, this is the modern Proverbs 31 woman. Right.
Speaker 1 00:09:14 And the problem was one 31 woman had help.
Speaker 0 00:09:18 So I was thinking, I mean, you've got a sister and a college student and all of that stuff and you can, you manage, manage all of that. Angela did that, which is great, which is great. I mean, we, so we have four kids and three of them are in a university model school. So it's like a, you know, a hybrid because I had said, I will never, I will never homeschool. And I will never send my kids to private school. And so of course we do have homeschool private school hybrid, which makes complete sense. And so anyway, when corn seed happened, the three of them were doing that. And then my kindergartener, we, we would have set him up for failure to do that because he very, very much is a social butterfly. And when he was, um, you know, in pre-K and, and when he was three and four, the kids were in that other kids were in that program and he would wake up on a Monday and say, mom, is this a homeschool day?
Speaker 0 00:10:17 And if I said, yes, I mean, he sang into himself. Like he hated homeschool days before he even had to do any work. And I was like, is this, this is not gonna work for him. So he goes to, uh, the public school across the street five days a week, where he gets to live his best life and, and be in a structured environment with all. But when quarantine happened, they were all home. And so my husband, and of course my husband was home too. I was so mad. We were all home. Of course the whole nation was home. And my husband at first, it was just kind of me. And at some point I said, listen, I love you. And I know that we're all trying to do this thing, but homeschooling three kids three days a week is a whole lot different than homeschooling four kids, five days a week.
Speaker 0 00:11:08 So we're going to have to figure something out. So he took charge of the kindergartener. I kept going with the older three, but my, but my fear was the biggest was the same as yours when they were all younger was let me do the older kid stuff, but please don't make me teach these kids how to read, because I'm really afraid they will be illiterate for the rest of their life. And it will be all my fault, but they can all read. And so it's great. We're fine. We're good. Um, okay then I'm like, this is like, that's like a cheap segue, but I'm like speaking of reading, I mean, I really do. I have your book next to me. Um, I, I feel bad because normally I have the books finished before I talk to guests, but I'm like with this one, I feel like it's a really good exception because this is supposed to be
Speaker 1 00:11:58 A daily journey. It's supposed to take him in it.
Speaker 0 00:12:02 Take a minute. So can you tell us about this 28 day prayer journey that you're getting ready to run?
Speaker 1 00:12:11 So about five years ago, I was thinking I need to do a better job praying consistently. And if I tell everybody on social media, I'm going to show up with a prayer post every day for 28 days and I have to do it. I had to do it. So I did a 28 day prayer journey on social media. And then I was glad that for 28 days, I'd been thinking about talking to God and talking to God and encouraging other people to talk to guidance. So after the 28 days were over, I had an intern that said, you know, that was a lot of content. And I was like, you think so we went and we added it all up. And it was like 27,000 words. And I was like, Oh shoot, that's a lot of words. So then I said, well, you know what?
Speaker 1 00:12:47 Let's, um, let's, uh, you know, put it maybe in a little ebook that we can give away. So we did that for a little bit. And then I was teaching women about speaking and writing. And I'm always like, if you want to write and you can't get a deal with a publisher, self publish a book, but I had never done it. So I was like, let me take this little 28 days of prayer. Um, you have a 28 day prayer journey. Let me take that and then make it into, um, of self published books. So I did that and actually we just pulled it off Amazon recently, cause it's been there for a while. And, um, the reason why I did that is because I was talking to my publisher and they said, you know, how many copies have you sold to that? We think there's still more to be had.
Speaker 1 00:13:25 So would you mind if we take that and refresh it, revise it and put it out there. But this all started as this little thing I was doing to help myself out. And so it's not like, you know, I was going to school to be the prayer lady. You know, it's not like the people at my church are like, there's a prayer warrior over her, you know, over there, if anything, they're like, you know, she told me she prayed for me. I don't know if she ever did. I mean, it's more like that. And so my goal is simply to say, Hey, listen, you know, this is the, this is the support for the person who wants to do it, but it needs to be reminded to do it needs to be encouraged in bite sized chunks to do it. It needs to be encouraged that doing it. Doesn't have to be such a big deal, just casually open up your mouth and talk to God about what's concerning you. And to guide you gently, gently in the process of doing just that.
Speaker 0 00:14:10 I loved it because when I, when I pull it out, pulled it open, I was expecting like kind of 28 short chapters, which it kind of is, but you really have it broken down of like three times a day. And I love how you introduce it, of like do this, you know, meal times or like when you get up and when you go to bed and then at some point in the day, but it really is that habit developing, not just a five minute quiet time in the morning, but like having this ongoing conversation with God multiple times a day, all day long, which I can tell you talking with my, and these are, I mean, girlfriends that I've had for a long time had this conversation come up recently in a Bible study we were doing together, which is it's easy sometimes for, for us, at least it was in this group easier to read and, and kind of get that. I don't know. I don't want to say it's like a checklist, but kind of get that done and kind of, and kind of let that sink in. But we had struggled so much with the prayer portion. I mean, why do you think that feels? So I don't even know the right word that I'm, that I'm trying to come up with, but it just feels like it's, it's kind of slippery sometimes to grasp. Why do you think that prayer part of it,
Speaker 1 00:15:30 Because we are creatures that like to do not just be, we don't understand that if that there's a, that there's a blessing in the being and not the taking action, not that action is bad. Faith without works is dead, but I'm saying that we feel that we have to be in control that our hands have to be on it and have our boxes, our hands don't check off the box or fill in the blank that we didn't do anything, but sitting still and praying, does it actually feel like an accomplishment? It feels like, okay, I prayed about it. I did what I was supposed to do, baby. I didn't even talk to God. And I feel relationally connected to him, but did prayer actually do something? And if we don't feel that it did and it doesn't have as much importance, you know, just internally and anecdotally, I think that's kind of the messaging.
Speaker 1 00:16:17 And I think that prayer is both it's being in God's presence, absorbing the advantage point that he has, that we do not. It is being able to take all our cares to him so that we don't have to carry them. But it also means that after we get up, we might be Laden with some action items because he knows things that we don't know. And he knows what we need to do, that we have no idea that we need to do. And so when we understand that standing before God or kneeling before God is an active way to engage in the process of our spiritual lives, no less than actively engaging with the word is the same. Then we see it differently and realize also that the doing that comes from the download that we get in prayer is also accompanied by something that you don't get, unless you just are willing to sit and be and sitting to be involved, actively praying to God telling him what's on your mind. And also just being still being quiet and letting him talk to you through his word or through the Holy spirit that it's at
Speaker 0 00:17:15 Work in your heart, man. I mean, I feel like you could just drop it right there and we could be done. Cause it's, cause that was so good. I think, I think you're a hundred percent, right. We want to, I mean, I even said it in, in the way I framed the question, right? Like we want to be able to check something off when we're able to do something. And so many times prayer doesn't feel like we're doing, but we are
Speaker 1 00:17:45 So, so here's the thing. If we were going to battle and the captain or the general in a war case, sending out the people, the front lines, inventory, the guard, you know, this wing that wing this, if they were just constantly sending people out to battle and never took the opportunity to sit with the battle plan or the map or another, um, decorated person in the army to say, man, okay, this is, this is what's happening. And I think we need to strategize if there were no conversation before the fight, you would say that General's not wise, they're there for you. Just start sending people out to slaughter. You ought to have a plan, right? And, and, and the general could argue, but if we're not fighting, we're not doing anything. And you would say, no, if you're not learning from the other people who are in leadership.
Speaker 1 00:18:37 And if you are not taking time to absorb what's happening so that you can think, and in wisdom, and based on your experience, come up with a plan. You're not being a wise leader. That's what you're doing when you launch out and you do all of these things and you don't ever stop to check in and all prayer is, is a check-in. I know who you are, what you're about. I want to acknowledge who you are. I want to acknowledge the fact that I probably screwed something up. I want to say, Hey, listen, here's what I want. Cause let's be honest. A lot of the time, what drives us to our knees is what we want. And then I want to say, after I've asked you for what I want, I now do what you do, do what you do, because you have a perspective.
Speaker 1 00:19:15 I don't have, you are the only being who's been alive since the beginning of time. So not only do you have a crystal clear perspective on my scenario right now, you have seen this scenario played out over and over and over and over again through time. So not only do you know me and you know what I'm going to do, you've seen the kind of actions I'm going to take. You know, what the consequences look like? You know what all the potential effects of all the dominoes that could ever be pushed in all the directions could ever be. So why would I not take a few minutes to talk to God and to say, listen, by the way, I know who you are, there's the praise by the way, I'm thankful for what you've done in the past. So let me remind myself about how I don't need to launch out and do all these things on my own.
Speaker 1 00:19:56 There's the Thanksgiving. And I know it's a rude to come to you and ask you to do things in my life without acknowledging the fact that a I messed up yesterday, I went to bed angry. I yelled at a kid. I totally was gluttony when I had that and the dessert and drank the sweet tea with the lemon in it, three servings instead of one, yes, that was a problem. And I'm working on it, but can I humbly come to you and ask you to help me out with some stuff? And then when I finished saying all the things you're got, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm going to end this prayer where I started this prayer and say, I want to just remember who you are. And I want to let you know that I know who you are. So when I ask you for all this stuff, I know who you are, you know, stuff, I don't know, do what you need to do,
Speaker 2 00:20:40 Right? No, it's, I think all of that
Speaker 0 00:20:48 Is, is so good. I think the biggest thing that I'm getting out of this whole exercise is this very relational feel with God. So just like you're talking about, and I'm thinking there have been other books, other programs, other things that have had huge impact on my prayer life and I'm thankful for them. And I still utilize those tools in my everyday life. But your book, one of the things that gave me, because I think a lot of those tools, one part of the reason they're good is exactly kind of what you just went through right now. Like you kind of going through these letters or some of them go through the Lord's prayer and kind of, you know, go through these different parts of it. Um, you know, but part of what your book is, and I want us to get into the format a little bit is, is you've got like different days, you have different kinds of subjects, um, that you're, that are your prayers to God and the things that you're using, you know, to kind of focus that time.
Speaker 0 00:21:48 But the reason I talk about it being relational is that I think about the times that I sit down to talk with my husband, like we've been married for 17 years. We have four kids, right? We got jobs, the house and the kids, all of this stuff. Right. And it's like, every time I sit down and talk to my husband, it doesn't look the same. Right? Like, I mean, there may be some parts of like this, Hey babe, how's your day. Or, you know, did it, but there's going to be some days when like maybe a kid is spinning out of control and it's like, that is our focus of conversation is like, what in the world did we do here? Or there are some days where it's real casual and it's like, Hey, what do you want for dinner? You know, or I'm going to the grocery store or whatever.
Speaker 0 00:22:26 And then maybe there are some days where there is something at church that's weighing really heavy or some days at school or whatever, but it's like, whenever we talk, it's just, it doesn't always look the same. And I feel like your book brings that relational part out and give some guidance. Because I think that a lot of us who have struggled with prayer in the past, kind of say, okay, give it again. We try to turn it into a do. Right. Okay. Give me the formula, give me the things that I need to talk to God about every, and I'll just do it and I'll do, I'll go through the letters. I'll go through the checklist every time. And this will be what it is. And there's something for those of us who tend toward Taipei. There are few of us out here. There's something that feels satisfying about that. There's something that still feels like, okay, we got something done, but what I felt like your book did, and I want you to go into the format of it. But what I felt like your book did for me was slow me down and, and guide me more by a relational aspect instead of a checklist aspect. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 00:23:37 Yeah. And that's the thing. I mean, you know, the whole concept of praying without ceasing that first Thessalonians talks about in chapter five is this idea that did it, doesn't get relegated to the time before bed when you're on your knees, it can be, but it doesn't have to be, it doesn't get relegated to the first thing you got to do before you start your day. I mean, if he wanted to put a time on it, he could have, he could have said, you know, before you start your day before you, before you begin to put that first bite of breakfast in your mouth, make sure he didn't even do that. Like we did that, like we said, we shouldn't, you know, this is when this should happen. So this idea of Jesus walking with the disciples and everything was just learned along the way as they walk together.
Speaker 1 00:24:23 And, um, you know, he, he did have some times where he sat down and taught them, you know, but there were more times where they were just, you know, met by the woman who was going to get stoned. And they were happened to be out there and he broke the bread and the fish and the loaves to feed the 5,000, teach them a lesson. They happened to be on the middle of the sea so that they could learn what it is to talk to him in the middle of the storm. So a lot of the questions that they ask, the things that they learned, the miracles, they saw performed theology there. They heard taught. It was because they would just along the way talking. And I think we do not give enough credit to how informal ongoing conversation, a relational prayer makes a difference in how close we actually feel to God. And James four eight says, draw nigh to me and I will draw nigh here. My King James coming out, I will draw and I will draw nigh to you. And how do you draw near to somebody? Well, we all know what it is to date of boy. You just can't get off.
Speaker 2 00:25:24 Right. Right. Right.
Speaker 1 00:25:26 And then your family is like, are y'all still on the phone? What are y'all talking about? But when you want to draw nigh, you just talk to him when you came.
Speaker 2 00:25:35 Exactly
Speaker 1 00:25:36 Great. And the great thing is we talked to God at any time.
Speaker 2 00:25:38 I love that. I wrote that was one of the quotes I wrote down from the book is God is always with us. We just need to keep the conversation going. And I love that. Um, I wanna, I wanna ask you about a couple of other things that just really stood out to me because I thought they were, they were so wise in there. They're going to be those, those that I come back to over and over. So one of the, one of the sections in the book, um, is on repentance because I mean, you kind of went through it and you talked. I mean, it it's, it's so important in our relationship with God, but one of the things you said really struck me and it was there, it it's the gift of God's invitation to repent. And then later you said, it's not so much about finding fault as it is about finding freedom. But I just thought that was one of those where I did a double take. I was like the gift, the gift. Yes. She, the gift of God's invitation to repent. I think there are some people who just heard
Speaker 0 00:26:44 That and they're like, what? Like I was like, what, but can you unpack that a little bit? Cause, cause I read it and I understand what you mean. I think. Um, but can you unpack that the gift of God's invitation to repent and what it means also to find freedom and it's about finding freedom instead of finding fault?
Speaker 1 00:27:02 Well, yeah, the, the thing is we are in chains when we don't walk in forgiveness because God is not free fully in fellowship to bless us. Especially if we're walking in knowing, you know, wrongdoing, we're also not free to walk, uh, without chains. Well, we haven't forgiven ourselves. And a lot of the reasons why we can't forgive ourselves is because we don't think God has forgiven us. So when you come to God and you say, can you let me off the hook? I know I jacked that up. I totally ruined this. I need to give the apology do better next time, make different decisions. Again, a mom, a mom, the same thing again. And to believe that the Bible, when it says he removes your sins, as far as the East is from the West. And that you're like, okay, he let his son come and die because he knew that I was going to be here a million times.
Speaker 1 00:27:54 And there was no amount of, uh, no amount of sin bearing that would cover all my sin except total sin bearing. So he wanted to make sure that no matter what I brought to him, when I bring it to him, he's like, alright, cause I want to talk to you. I want, I want fellowship. Cause I want you to be connected to me, the God of the universe who can guide you, love you, direct you. And I don't want anything to get in the way. So my son sacrifice did that. And when you are able to freely come to me, naked and ashamed and you get to live, cause you get to know what it is and I'm telling you about your life. You get to understand what is it I need to guide and direct. You get to be in full receipt of what I want to download to you in the word I get to give you all of my God ideas, all the things that I want to talk to you about.
Speaker 1 00:28:39 I, I get to freely communicate with you, you know? And I mean, you know, if you're married or if you just have a good friend, but you know, if you've ever been into it with a good friend or been into it with your husband, but you still have to see him, you know, there's this weird dynamic. It's like, it's like, I'm here. You know, I went to work and I brought home a check. I still fixed dinner. We're doing all these transactional things. Or you have a friend and say you're in a small group. And you know, you're seeing each other and you know, you're talking about your day or whatever, but there's just a thing. There's just this thing in the middle of your relationship that you're not dealing with. And it just makes everything weird and it's so much better. You know, I know my husband enough when I know when he's apologizing, he may not say it, but sometimes I know he's giving me the, I'm kind of sorry, behavior.
Speaker 1 00:29:33 And I'm like, you know, you're doing all this work. If you're just trying to say, you're sorry. Just say, you're sorry. I mean, I appreciate you making up it, but you know, just, just say you're sorry. And sometimes I think we overcomplicate walking in fellowship with God. Just say, you're sorry. Just say, sorry, not that he doesn't want change right? That he doesn't want righteousness, but he doesn't want holiness, but fixing the breach to have the relationship. Cause you can't have holiness without a relationship with the Holy God. So in order to actually get there to have that closeness, see now my husband and I've been married for 19 years. There's just some stuff he just knows. No, you went out, got me a burger the other day. Or we were eating at red Robin or something. He's like, so how do you want it?
Speaker 1 00:30:19 I was like, you know what? I want it. Right? Yeah. You know, my order is, that's some extra cheese on there, extra pickles, extra onion, take off the tomato, Mayo mustard and ketchup. Please do the thing. You know how I want it. And when we don't have complete fellowship open with God, because he's God, he knows how we want it. But maybe if we're not talking, he won't even, we won't even ask, can you fulfill this order for me? You know what I need? You know what I want, but I'm so broken in my relationship because I know that you've done something that I've done something to offend you. I don't want to even ask. Right. And that's how my husband will do. If he's like, I know I Jack something up, I'm not even going to say, Hey, can you make my favorite dinner?
Speaker 1 00:31:07 Cause I, I can't even come to her because I have not made amends and apologized. But why would you walk around like that? When all you have to do is say, you're sorry. Right? So it's a gift to us to just say, we're sorry, sorry, but you know how I need things in my life. And I don't want to have broken fellowship where I don't feel comfortable talking to you. So can we just have this open conversation, open relationship that is not marred by my feeling that I have screwed up. Can I break the chains by unlocking them and saying, Hey God, it's me again.
Speaker 0 00:31:44 Right? That's so clear because it's us, it's us. It's us. He's never sitting there going, well, I'm not going to fulfill your order until you say, sorry, it's us. He's the one he's already fulfilled the order. Come on.
Speaker 1 00:32:01 He, he said, Jesus son, I'm so sorry, but I can't even talk to these people if I can't see pure blood shed and the only person who can do it as you. So in order for me to be able to fulfill their orders, to make sense out of all the things that are hard in the world to make amends for all the things that they don't even know how to fix for me to go ahead of them and realize that they're going to pray for things that they don't even know. They need to pray for it until it's almost too late. And I will have had to been working those things out long before they even knew me or knew to pray the prayer. So in order for me to fulfill their order, I need you to fulfill this first order to make sure that anything that they could ever ask me as a drive through is already paid for. So will you just go and pay the bill so that when they finally drive up and give me their orders, they want to talk to me that we have a clear connection and so that I can deliver. So why would we not once a walk in fellowship with God who already paid the price of that? Anything we order, the price is paid.
Speaker 2 00:33:12 Amen. Amen. It's a gift,
Speaker 1 00:33:18 A gift. So just say, you're sorry. And then walk in the, with the goal of righteousness. Nobody's perfect. But the Bible does still say, even though we're not perfect, be perfect. Like he is perfect, which means even though you're not going to ever actually reach perfection because Jesus has perfection and it's going to take you going to heaven to get there, strive for that strive to honor him and all you do and everything that you eat or drink, do all for the glory of God. And in doing that, when you mess up to say, you're sorry, get back up and keep going. So when you don't ask, when you don't look around and say, how am I offending you? Then you're leaving something on the table. Why would you do that?
Speaker 2 00:34:10 <inaudible> man. Yeah, that'll preach, man. Thank you. Thank you so much for that. I was just so good. And I think one of the places that you, that you go after that, that I think kind of tack onto that is that, well, there's a few that number one, this prayer, this asking God and looking around, asking him how we offended him, but also asking him for what we need, um, that he's already fulfilled it and he's already fulfilled it. Like you touched before in ways that we can't see right now and may not understand. And so there are times when we're going to see that by prayer, God is using our prayers to change our hearts and not always the circumstances that we're praying about. Um, but then there's also these times when I think part of that changing heart, you, you talk about and I love it. It's like, do we pray the same prayer sometimes because we don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't happen, our, do we want,
Speaker 0 00:35:38 Do we sometimes just say safe? And then the other, the other one that I've put down that I think goes along with that is that I love the way we don't need to fake the funk. Just request what you know. And he already knows, cause he already knows because he already knows. So those are, so those are kind of like a few of those things, right? So it's like sometimes we pray the thing and it doesn't happen. Sometimes we don't pray the thing because we're afraid it won't happen. And sometimes we pray kind of half the thing because we're like maybe what we're praying sounds better. And then, you know, like I heard another teacher Bible teacher in the last week or two say, you've got something in your heart that you kind of wish it wasn't there. And she just said, just, just commit to it.
Speaker 0 00:36:24 Just say it out loud because God knows it's there anyway. Right. So you don't have to play fake with him. Like you don't have to pretend. So can you talk about, I don't know, I don't want to put you on the spot completely, but there is, has there been a time in your life that you can name where you were doing one of those things either you were praying safe because you didn't want to be bold because you were afraid you'd be disappointed or where you did maybe pray the bold thing and it didn't happen. And God used that to change your heart.
Speaker 1 00:36:56 Well, I have two answers to both. Um, the first thing is my mom died in December the end of the year. I'm so sorry. Prayed really hard for her. And I told the Lord when I started praying for her, now, listen, I'm gonna need, I'm gonna need you to win this one because I even said to him, you, you can heal somebody else. I just want to pray hard for somebody. And I see you work and not in a doctor explainable way. I want to know that the prayers actually matter. So I can be honest and tell you, I'm still asking him for that. I have a son who had an ailment when he was born. He had a rough birth and I prayed and I prayed and prayed and everything that the doctor said would happen. The best case of that happened. So I'm very, very grateful for a lot of things with his life.
Speaker 1 00:37:48 Um, but the doctors were right with my mom. I mean, she lived longer than what they thought she would live, but ultimately they kind of had the corner on the market in terms of giving us a heads up as far as what's coming. So I can tell you, I'm still very disappointed that God did not answer my prayer. Um, I'm disappointed that, that it didn't matter that our family was praying hard that our church was praying hard. A lot of people in the nation were praying hard and around the world, yes. The country, the world was praying hard. Yeah. So it's like, Oh, okay, well, so when are you going to show me? Can you show me that you answer prayers? So that even so that I have something to counterbalance my experience, does that mean I stopped praying? No. Cause what else are you going to do?
Speaker 1 00:38:39 Or you don't. Right. Um, but I'm, I am, I was, and still am disappointed. He didn't answer the prayer for her or for anybody. Do you understand? I'm saying yes. Um, so there's a sadness, you know, but I think I was talking to a friend of mine, Michelle couchette she, uh, written a book and she was on my podcast. We were talking about her book called relentless and how God is relentlessly pursuing us. And so before our conversation, I just kinda was like, so you had cancer three times. Wow. And you still are walking around telling everybody that God is chasing after you I'm struggling. Michelle, my mom just died and I was she's dying. And I remember when we recorded it. Exactly. But I said, I just feel like, you know, when we're praying and praying hard, where is he when we're praying hard? And her response was, man, the good thing is that Jesus probably had the same question.
Speaker 1 00:39:52 Wow, he's bleeding, sweat, and blood in the garden. Can't you do this another way. There's gotta be another way it's gotta be. And then he's done what his father asked him to do. He says, why are you looking away? I did what you asked me to do. So you just are like, if Jesus, the son who did what God asked him to do says he gotta be kidding me then every now and then in our lives, it's not going to make sense. And we're going to be praying. And he doesn't answer the way we think that he should. That said, do you think, can I interrupt you for a moment with that? Because it just hit me. I'm going through it. And Hebrew study, um, with some of my girlfriends from college and, and there's this, you know, the, the portion in Hebrews were ever talks about how he was tempted in every way.
Speaker 1 00:41:03 Like we don't have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with us. And it just hit me when you were talking about that, because in this space that you're talking about, where we can feel that visceral disappointment, and where is God, what happened? It didn't work. You didn't work. Where were you? And just that explanation of even in those moments, we don't have a high priest use enable to sympathize. Yeah. We feel, yup. I, um, we've been looking for a house for four years, so it's a whole long drawn out curly story of, I told my husband, I'm the kind of girl, when we got married, we could buy a house and never move. But the house he moved into didn't have trees. I said, I just need a house with trees. So he said, well, stay there for two to three years, then we'll move.
Speaker 1 00:42:01 We stayed there for, we stayed there for 10. And then we were like, okay, we're going to look for a house. My sister moved into an area in the house next door to her, came up and I was like, you know what? It was available for rent. I was like, what? This will be really cool to live next to my sister. So I did that. We rented out our house came back around when it was time to leave there because they were, it wasn't, it's kind of a last minute thing. So we were like, we'll go back to our house. But then the renters who were there, we knew them personally. We didn't want to kick them out. So family members said, well, we're moving out of your house. You can live there. And I'm sitting here thinking this wasn't my plan. I was supposed to live in one house and then another, and that's it. So my kids could come home and have trees. We've been looking. So we've been looking and looking at houses and this is not right in this. So we found a house, but here's the, here's the thing.
Speaker 1 00:42:56 When I walked out of the house and I took my dad to see it with me and my brother was with me too, with us. And we walked out of the house. My brother said to my dad, cause my mother, my mother for a long time was looking for a house. She couldn't find it. My brother looked at my dad and he said, I think this is Chrissy's house. And I said, I'm not so sure. Like they're going to have to make some major moves for us to be able to afford this. And he said, no, this is your house. I said, well, how do you know? He said, because all this time your mother was looking for a house. And he looked at my dad and he said, is this her house? And he said, it is everything on the list that she wanted. And then the family that's selling us. The house has gotten offers before hours and higher than ours. But they said, but we've been praying for the right family.
Speaker 1 00:44:00 I've been praying about a house for four years, really 20, the whole time I've been married that had this list of things and trees. So am I going to say, I mean, you know, of course people can look for house and you wait and you find the right one, but that's not, it. It's not that we found a house and it was right for me, it's that we found a house and the timing, the timing of everything. And there's more than I could go into, but the timing of everything, the fact that they prayed and were waiting for us and that the timing of it was that it was everything I wanted and that my mom wanted to, the timing of that is a little incredulous. So have I prayed for something and had to wait and then went like, Oh, okay. And have I prayed for something and had him say no or not answer. Yep. But how do we ever know?
Speaker 1 00:45:02 Unless we ask. Right. And I believe that there are some things that we only get because we ask, you know, but there are some things that are available to us that we just won't have, unless we do our part, God could have told Noah arc now get in that and take your family. I built it for you. I spoke the world into existence. I took the work off of you with the arc, get the animals. I'll even bring them to the door. Just, just get your family in there. Arc go sail the high seas. But no Noah had to build the arc. He could say to B's honeycomb, like how did that, therefore you BS. Cause I know you got to fly around and do a lot of work. You know, second up all this pile and bringing it back, making honey, no, they have to build a honeycomb nest.
Speaker 1 00:45:52 I know that you got to fly around. It's a lot of work to get the food and know, Hey, I have to build it. There's this all throughout nature. You see this cooperation in this incredible ability of animals who instinctively know how to do certain things still have to participate in the building of those things. They don't have the brains necessarily to do it. The reasoning capacity it's built in, but he still said, I'm going to build the capacity to do it in you. So you do it because in you participating, that's where the glory is. Right. It's amazing to know how do y'all know how to build this? How do y'all know how to do this? No, you had never been to art class. How did you, you know, you just followed instructions and you, that's not what you know. So I think that there's a glory in God saying, ha you see what I did there?
Speaker 1 00:46:43 I heard your prayer and I didn't miss a detail. You see how good I am at what I do. There's glory in that. Right? There's the aha of, wow. I serve a God who, wow. He heard the things I prayed hard about. And he heard the things that were just a whisper. As I was talking to a friend in the line to pick up my kid after school, he heard me say that he, he, he got the wish that I did not, even when I'm, when I'm crying about something that is horribly disappointing and sad. And I can't even get the words out. He heard he decoded it. Right. I mean, right. And the, the nature
Speaker 0 00:47:30 Thing made me think of in the Noah thing. Um, I'm reading a book by, uh, Desmond Tutu right now. And he, he talks about the participation, but he also talks about the choice. That is one of the beautiful things that God built into us on purpose is that we have the choice to participate and how beautiful.
Speaker 1 00:47:55 And that's what this book is about. It's like, just show up and talk to them. It's just, it's not like the mechanics of the prayer. It's like, I'm giving you stuff to think about, but it's just, if you would just be, could be mindful of the fact that the God of the universe who can do some crazy stuff, man, he can do some crazy stuff that he wants to hear from you. And some of the crazy stuff, crazy good stuff that he wants to do does not get done or activated until you pray, show up and say, I know who I'm talking to. And by the way, I'm sorry for that crap I pulled yesterday. And then, you know what, by the way, there's some stuff I actually need you to do in my life. And then you just say, all right, but because I know who I'm talking to, you just work that out the best way that you know how, cause you know what your thoughts are. Not my thoughts. Your ways are not my way.
Speaker 0 00:48:48 Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 00:48:51 But when you pray and you show up and you do your part, then he is completely free to do his
Speaker 0 00:48:56 Oh yes. All of the yeses. Thank you for all of that. Thank you for sharing that amazing story about the house. I'm so excited. Is this like a right now story? Like, are you guys like get ready on Friday? Congratulations. That's incredible.
Speaker 1 00:49:16 Got it. I've got a few things that we have to do first, but um, but yeah,
Speaker 0 00:49:20 Incredible. Congratulations. That's just the medicine. Just that just, it just makes me so happy because it's a right now thing right now. Thing that you're like. Yeah. And you being in the wake of that lets us be in the wake of it. And we can say, um, you know, I just started seminary yesterday a little bit, a little bit kind of, uh, not treading water yet, but my daughter who studied Hebrew a little bit today, she said, I said, I says, I don't know. I'd hope I don't fail this class. Like I gotta make flashcards and now to do the stuff. And she said, mom, if I can do it, you can do it. And, and just now it made me think like, it's like, man, but if God will do it for crystal, you would do it for me. He's no respecter of persons. If he's going to do it for you, he can do it for me too. And even if he doesn't, we will still praise him even still, even still. Oh my goodness. Thank you so much, crystal. All of the places, all the things you do, where if people are not already following you and your work and your passion and your ministry in your writing, where would be the good places for them to find you?
Speaker 1 00:50:41 Well, the easiest thing is to go to crystal Evans, hearst.com and everything. Is there a email lists, social media links to books, all that stuff. If after listening to this conversation, you specifically want to know more about the book. You can simply go to crystal Evans, hearst.com forward slash prey. Awesome. And this book,
Speaker 0 00:51:02 I think it will release by the time this comes out. I think it will be next week. So is that correct? It's got an August release state.
Speaker 1 00:51:10 Yup. August 11th. Oh, I'm so excited the day before my birthday,
Speaker 0 00:51:15 Early birthday presents. So, Oh, I'm so excited guys. Get your hands on this book. Like I said, it's just such a good relational and habitual guide for stepping into that. As you, as you, as you keep saying, like, here I am those and I know who you are with God. It's just so incredible. Thank you so much crystal for coming on. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 00:51:41 Oh yeah. You're welcome. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 0 00:51:46 So thank you again so much for listening. Don't forget to subscribe. So you won't miss an episode, share the link with your friends. You can visit
[email protected] and until next time, this is Alexis. Piseti remembering to do well for ourselves so we can do good for others.
Speaker 1 00:52:05 Hi, <inaudible>.
